Tuesday, May 5, 2009

It's the PHONE, Mommy

What is it about picking up a receiver and putting it to your ear that signals "time for all hell to break loose?" Happens to kids...and now, I have proof that it happens to dogs, too! There must be some look in a parental eye that causes anxiety. A "lost in space" look that signifies that the parental figure is no longer paying the slightest attention to his/her surroundings. That inattention must STOP at once. You MUST pay attention to me. You must never NOT think of me.

Perhaps is the parental figure stops thinking about the child/dog, it means he/she will NEVER PAY ATTENTION AGAIN. This indubitably must be it.

Is there a solution that can provide peace and quiet for a phone conversation?

Step One: Make sure you have a cordless phone - either landline cordless or cell.

Step Two: Find a room you can go into and shut the door. (It really doesn't have to be the bathroom, ya know.)

Step Three: Find some noisemaking device you can turn on to drown out the sound of your voice while talking on the phone.

Step Four: Turn on said device (whether it is in the same room as you are or not) and adjust volume to cover voices, but not drown out your actual conversation.

Step Five: Enter room, shut door, and begin conversation.

It probably won't work for more than about ten minutes before either children start knocking or dogs start throwing themselves against the side of the door, but ten minutes is better than none! So, that's Step Six. Learn to condense all important talk to ten minute or less intervals.